Saturday, 5 June 2010

Sex party politics

There's nothing like work avoidance. It might actually be my prime motivation in life. Today I'm at work, so this really is the ultimate in work avoidance! There's the danger of discovery, like being caught photocopying your genitals or having sex in the office toilets. I've never done either, although I once had a wank in a cardboard box while watching television with my little sister.

I wish I could say that I'm getting turned on now but the possibility of discovery has never had that effect on me. The idea of someone inadvertently and unwillingly catching an eyeful of me in action makes me uneasy.

Consensual voyeurism, on the other hand, is fine. I'm relatively inexperienced at having sex with or in the company of lots of other people, but last weekend Virgil and I attended our first sex party in ages. And perhaps because we had had a hand in organising it (ahem!) it was a good one, in which a throng of sexy, interesting pervs of all persuasions met, flirted and ultimately fucked. I don't think it quite turned into an orgy but from my perspective it came close.

One of my initial reservations about organising a sex party was that I would know the people I was playing with and that this would somehow be embarrassing. A friend said exactly the same thing. She prefers to go to sex and fetish clubs with a partner in crime and have anonymous sex, the more sordid the better. She told me with glee how she had recently been groped in the glory hole of a suburban sex club by two Hassidic Jews.

The idea of fucking in front of friends was daunting. In a similar vein I remember wishing as a teenager that I could magically lose my virginity without the mortification of sexual contact with another person. My adolescent sexuality was almost entirely masturbatory. Adolescent sex is 90 per cent masturbation and 10 per cent embarrassment. Inevitably I got over it and eventually discovered that the whole point of sex is that you are doing it with someone else.

So although I believe it politic to leave a comfortable distance in the playroom between yourself and the friends you like but wouldn't actually like to fuck, I've changed my mind on that score. In fact, I would go as far as saying that one of the *perks* of sex party organising is getting to make a mental to-do list.

Virgil and I played with boys and girls, both together and separately, although never going far from the other, and at the end of the night we were together. Having lost our supply of latex-free condoms down the side of the communal bed, neither of us had actually fucked anyone else, but the party had been a success. We had worked hard and we were more than happy with the fruit of our labours.

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