Saturday, 7 January 2012

Bad vibes, generally

This week I did beaucoup de research on vibrators. Not only did I peruse Lovehoney's demonstration videos and customer reviews until my head ached, I went to actual sex shops and tested them in person. After the recent Eroscillator disappointment and another costly mistake with a Lelo Ina (they pinch - can't recommend) I wanted to get it right.

Luckily, Lovehoney have unbelievably good customer service. They agreed without hesitation to take the Eroscillator back. I have posted it to them with a wishlist of replacements to be paid for with the large credit note they have promised me. I intend to buy all my future sex supplies from them in gratitude. By the way, if you want to know how to test the strength of a vibrator when you're in a sex shop, it's this: put it on the tip of your nose. A super sales assistant told me that. She also made me a cup of tea!

When I told Virgil about my experiences and the new planned purchases he was cool with me. We have this running disagreement about my use of his Lelo Gigi and he harbours resentment. I have unfairly (and unrepentently) grown attached to it. Previously I asked him not to take it on solo expeditions until I have replaced it in my affections. My unreason was the reason he gave when asked to explain his lack of warmth. By buying my 'own' vibrators the Gigi will once more become his vibrator, to use on other women as he pleases. I didn't understand why he wasn't at least a bit more positive - his dislike of the Eroscillator was a significant factor in my decision to return it.

So I had hoped for (yes, anticipated) a slightly better reaction. I felt let down and unfairly judged. I shouted and glared at Virgil across the room from where I sat at my laptop. We made a fragile peace but later my mood turned volatile again. Virgil told me that he has almost had enough and can't take any more being shouted at. He said that while I thought the last few weeks had been pretty good that they hadn't felt that way to him. I ended up sleeping on the sofa.

It's not right to argue about vibrators. They are supposed to bring joy and orgasms, not ire and disappointment.

I've got to do something about my temper. Really got to do something about my temper. Anger management is going to have to be my number one new year's resolution for 2012.


  1. You had a row about vibrator? That's definitely an idea you could sell to a comedy script writer.

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  3. What I intended to say, GB, was that was a brilliant idea and I shall look into it. Thanks, and I look forward to you resuming your blog on the 9th!