Wednesday, 30 June 2010

The Pushmepullyou Of Sex

Virgil and I have a date with another couple tonight. We played with Marcus and Ava at the sex party we organised and now we're going to their place.

He curls up against me in bed this morning, laying kisses on the back of my neck and pressing his erection against my bum. When I reach behind and start to touch him, he slips his fingers into me. It feels good but my throat is sore and I'm only awake because my brother texted at 7.30. I'm struggling out of a dream in which I'm failing at my job in a fantasy land of surf and big waves. 

I think: Virgil should have an orgasm this morning because it will help him with not coming later. I shouldn't, so that I'm fresh and sexually on edge. (There's an ache and a throb in my pussy right now, so that worked.) 

"What? Can't I make love to my girlfriend?" he says. "Are you saving your pussy for another man?"

So he closes his eyes and masturbates instead. I stroke his thighs and balls and kiss him. After a minute he tenses and sighs and I think that he must be getting into it, but I look down and see the semen on his belly.

Then I sleep for three hours.

One of life's great unfairnesses is that it is so much easier for men to come than women. Another is that women have better orgasms than men.

I have always struggled to come from penetrative sex alone. Some of my defining (and earliest) sexual memories are of being left hanging painfully on the edge of an orgasm with an embarrassed apology. Isn't it a drag when you reach a place in sex where he's mostly just trying not to and you are probably just trying too hard? Coke can help, to a point and on occasion. I don't know the answer. If you have any suggestions feel free to comment.

I've met several men with almost endless stamina. Their trick is that they almost never allow themselves to come. But I enjoy making people come. Witnessing another person's pleasure turns me on. There is also the matter of pride in my technical ability, and I like to feel that I'm keeping up my end of the bargain. It's great to be ravished but I'm mistrusting of people who only want to give.

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