Thursday, 29 December 2011

Don't get too attached

We have been planning a New Years Eve party (yes, for that read sex party). Virgil's idea, following the success of his birthday play party, immense resources have already been invested. It's been our main focus since even before Christmas. We have fallen out with friends over the guest list and raided our savings to secure the fabulous venue. Now Virgil is ill with a suspected wisdom tooth infection. I have an appointment to pick up emergency antibiotics for him tomorrow. At the very best, he will be feeling better but still on antibiotics and not out of the woods for NYE.


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Tuesday, 27 December 2011

What makes a good vibrator is not what you might at first think

I own two dozen pairs of shoes but only one vibrator, a Lelo Gigi. Actually it's Virgil's but I have claimed squatters rights. After all, it's been on my clit the most. If Virgil went off to have sex with someone else, taking it with him, that wouldn't feel right. We agree to buy vibrators separately for use with other people.

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Thursday, 22 December 2011

Neighbourly news update

I had lunch with my neighbour today. Good grief: he really is sexy. Even after two hours of conversation (ample time to fall out of a crush on someone) I still would. Definitely. I would even more now. Unfortunately I was wrong about him living alone. Why did I think he lived alone? Maybe because he said he had a studio flat. Funny how we hear what we want to hear.

He has a girlfriend. They live together. But she's away for the next ten days.
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Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Did I mention that I had a crush on my neighbour?

Serious excitement at Harlot Towers this morning. I hardly ever find anyone instantly attractive but my upstairs neighbour caught my eye immediately and with force. Even though we rarely bump into each other, for over a year now Dmitri has occupied a special place at the back of my mind. Imagine a little shoebox labelled 'crushes that will never be satisfied'.

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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

What's in it for you?

Somebody suggested that a blog should offer its readers something. That's funny. I thought a blog was a big electronic chasm that people come to wail into (those who aren't posting pictures of their children and bible study group outings, that is).

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Sunday, 18 December 2011


I just joined an online poly support group. Well, actually it turned out to be a mono/poly support group for people who are monogamous and having relationships with poly people. Whatever that means.

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Saturday, 17 December 2011

The view from inside my ass

Creeping Americanization made me choose that one, right?

I had something close to a panic attack earlier. The trigger was going to spy on Sarah's Facebook profile. I read some of her wallposts (she's witty) and looked hard at a rather indistinct picture of her on a bicycle. It's her second profile picture where she is on a bicycle. Virgil always rides his bicycle when he goes to see her. I wonder if she has some kind of bike thing going on.

The reason I am spying on Virgil's lover's Facebook page is that I thought she might have blocked me (there was a reason for this other than pure paranoia) so I checked. Obviously I then had to look.

The lesson, I tell myself, is that it is not a competition about who is the coolest. I have humiliated myself. It's not good for self-esteem.

I feel like a big fake, a twat of epic proportions. I am a monster with a towering, fragile ego. I have only myself to blame. The view down is scary. I need something in my life, some kind of achievement of my own to feel good about. I phone Virgil and tell him about the snit although I don't tell him what started it.
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Tuesday, 6 December 2011


I wonder how Virgil feels about Sarah. Does he miss her when he doesn't see her? How much does he think about her between dates. I'd like to know how the feeling coexists with what he feels about me because I can't imagine it. He's seen only her outside our relationship for the last few months, so (I surmise) he's satisfied and not looking for something more exciting. He says that Sarah has the potential to be a good friend. I am trying to feel pleased about that.

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Sunday, 4 December 2011

Never Leave Me

This morning I wake up at 6am. At 7 I get up and go into the living room to read 'Opening Up'. Douglas, our counsellor, lent it to me. He thinks I might find some helpful advice in it about negotiating open relationships. I had been expressing, with vehemence, my feelings about the book Sarah gave Virgil. Virgil told me afterward that I had looked terrifying.

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Thursday, 1 December 2011

A Proposition

This is the email I wrote to Robert after our last date:

Hi Robert,

I owe you an apology for not helping you out when you confessed to being unable to flirt. It was mean of me. Then again, when a date sits facing you, wearing the shortest of skirts, with her legs wide open, surely she makes up in body language for what she fails to communicate in other ways? How much of an invitation does a pervert need?

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