Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Did I mention that I had a crush on my neighbour?

Serious excitement at Harlot Towers this morning. I hardly ever find anyone instantly attractive but my upstairs neighbour caught my eye immediately and with force. Even though we rarely bump into each other, for over a year now Dmitri has occupied a special place at the back of my mind. Imagine a little shoebox labelled 'crushes that will never be satisfied'.

Our interaction consists mostly of pointless but pleasant exchanges on the stairs and in the communal bike room. In August both our bikes were stripped to the frames when a thief broke in. The crime gave us something to talk about. The upshot of this was that I found out which flat he lives in, that he lives alone, that he works as an engineer and that he is Russian. We also became Facebook friends, so that was £400 well spent (I had forgotten to renew my insurance).

I had a good rummage through Dmitri's wallposts, friends and photos. It didn't net much but when you've got a crush any scrap of information is something. He doesn't seem to have many friends in London. Most of the names on his friends list are eastern European. Maybe he works too hard to have been able to make many friends in London. Maybe he's just really private or shy. I don't mind these things. He has always seemed friendly and smiley but reserved.

I invited Dmitri for coffee. Actually I invited him twice and both times he said yes but then didn't let me know when he was free. I took this as a polite rejection. My approach had been friendly, maybe (hopefully) a bit more, but when you're in an open relationship and the other person doesn' t know that you are in an open relationship really overt flirting can be confusing for them. They can form a bad opinion of you or think that you want to have an affair with them.

Recently, after my unsuccessful attempts to meet people online and remembering the unusually strong attraction, I started talking to Dmitri on Facebook. He commented on one of my wall posts and we took it from there. It's a fine way to strike up a conversation with someone you have no excuse to see otherwise. Realising we are both going to be in town over Christmas (another piece in the puzzle - he doesn't go to see his family for Christmas...), he suggested we finally meet up. Delighted, I went to message him with my phone number and found TWO messages from him from August, suggesting days for meeting. Facebook had helpfully put them in my spam folder.

DAMN YOU, FACEBOOK! That was in August! This morning I texted Dmitri. Now I am waiting for a response. I have to remind myself that this is just a coffee, but I suspect he's attracted to me too. I just really think he is. With a bit of luck he won't turn out to be a bore or a serial killer and (if it comes to it) I will be able to explain my situation in a way that won't make me sound like a freak or weirdo.


  1. My guess is he'll say "yes" if you're offering him no-strings sex. What happens afterwards is the interesting question - will he want more sex or more than sex? Anyway, I hope it'll help you to forget the silly bicycle woman.

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