Alcohol, Teenage Crushes and I Am Morose

I'm at work so it's usually a day for writing but I don't feel sexy. I'm hungover instead. It's unusual. I drink very little and I hate being hungover. I feel pathetic and morose. Even a small amount of work today feels onerous.

Alcohol and sex for me are associated only because the chance of one happening may be boosted by the presence of the other. I've never had good drunk sex. I've had chaotic drunken sex, where you grapple and trampoline off each other. As you sober up second thoughts creep in. You feel physically and spiritually seedy.

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Sex Diary Gold

This is a series of sex diaries from New Yorkers published weekly online.

http://nymag.com/tags/sex%20diaries

What a find!
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A New Fantasy Creation

I had a brand new wank fantasy last night and it got me thinking how my fantasy themes and scenarios have changed over time.

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Second Thoughts and Dutch Caps

I'm having second thoughts about the new vibrator but I haven't told Virgil yet. After all, it cost £100.

The issue is this: once the bigger end of Ina is inside my cunt and the little end over my clit, the pressure between the two is considerable. My pubic bone is in a vice and my clit is squashed flat. I have to use my other hand to keep the two prongs apart. I explore the mechanism, pushing the prongs as far apart as they will go. I hope that by doing this repeatedly it will loosen up. I wonder if I have an unusually large pubic bone.

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A Joint Purchase

"I believe the man should open doors, the woman should ejaculate first, and they should split the drinks," wrote Virgil in his profile on the sex site through which we met.

As that quotation suggests, Virgil is chivalrous and generous but he's no one's wallet. From the first date we have been egalitarian in our financial arrangements. We even share the cost of contraception, which as I am allergic to latex is considerable.

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Sex On Drugs

I can't have an orgasm when I've taken MDMA. Neither can Virgil but, unlike many men (he tells me), he can stay hard.

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eLust Issue 17

 Photo courtesy of Elle from Kink Unleashed


Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #18? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Editor's Note:  A little change in how things are done for this edition -  you'll notice there are no "Top 3" picks - due in part to the holiday I ended up being extremely short on judges and I didn't have enough for fair voting. So instead, I expanded my "Featured Post". (If you'd like to volunteer to be an occasional judge for e[lust], just email me, Lilly, at questions.e.lust @ gmail.com) Also, please be sure to check out the new summer schedule in effect until the 20th edition.

~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Why Pride is Still Important - When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help but believe that they go through life with tunnel vision. I live in New York where for the most part I can walk around being a big ol’ queen and I’ll make it home alive, but there are people who live in places where they can’t. Even here in New York you’ll get called a faggot from time to time by passing cars or groups of punks, and even here in New York I hear stories of people getting the shit kicked out of them just because they were gay.

Fantasies and Condoms - Our culture has created a narrative in which sex only feels good and looks sexy if no one is protected. We’re all suffering from this narrative, but sex workers are probably suffering the most.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Some days we need a little hope - I encourage you to practice random acts of kindness that could be worthy of inclusion on the site (GivesMeHope.com). Be nice, be caring, let your heart open up just for the sake of bringing someone some happiness or comfort. Do you know how good it feels to just give?

See also: Pleasurists #83 and #84 for all your sex toy review needs.




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Flying The Red Flag

If you cut your finger right now, what would you do? You'd put it in your mouth, wouldn't you?

Naive London Girl is unsure about oral sex during menstruation. She is both turned on and repulsed by the idea. I wouldn't let a period spoil good sex, mine or someone else's. Then again, if someone was literally passing clots I would think twice. A bit of blood is sexy in a feral sort of way but it's not a fetish or a sacred experience for me.

I've had sex with a wide variety of people but I've never kept records and I'd like a few statistics at this point. Unfortunately I'm not much of a Googler. I turn up a couple of general sex surveys online but they don't even mention it. That's bizarre. If I were writing a survey about sexual mores I'd say that attitudes to period sex and cunnilingus were worth asking about, wouldn't you?

But I did find a lovely site explaining how to earn your Red Wings and wear them with pride. 

In spite of my failure as a sex researcher, I can say with some certainty that any man's attitude to period sex and cunnilingus is quite unpredictable. One cannnot assume anything. It's not that alternative types do and straights don't. Sartorial taste, eating habits and personal politics are not reliable indicators. You just have to ask - and preferably well before the point at which a refusal would offend.

The issue came up recently with a couple we played with. Ava's period arrived unexpectedly so she wrote privately to me before our date to ask if we should postpone. She didn't mind but Marcus wasn't keen on period sex. Virgil, who was reading over my shoulder, was exasperated. He had already gone down on her before when she had her period, so it was academic, surely? Marcus sank in Virgil's estimation. In hindsight I think he might have put her up to it.

Virgil is scornful of men who are fastidious about menstrual blood. It's not just that he has a feral streak, I think he likes making love to me when I'm achey and vulnerable. He finds crying women sexy. I'm going to ask him about this tomorrow. We have some of our best sex during my period and if it gets messy we simply boil the sheets.

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