Monday, 19 July 2010

A Joint Purchase

"I believe the man should open doors, the woman should ejaculate first, and they should split the drinks," wrote Virgil in his profile on the sex site through which we met.

As that quotation suggests, Virgil is chivalrous and generous but he's no one's wallet. From the first date we have been egalitarian in our financial arrangements. We even share the cost of contraception, which as I am allergic to latex is considerable.
 When bought in bulk, Pasante Unique condoms put the cost of a single act of penetration at 66p and you can't get them free from the GUM clinic. So I was surprised when on being told that he owed me half of a mere £10.84 for lube Virgil was adamant that he was not prepared to contribute.

"That's your choice," he said. "Do I not have many bottles of other lube that you could use, all of which are perfectly good?"

I replied that V Gel is the best. It is tasteless, odourless, anti-fungal, all-natural, doesn't get sticky and is therefore my personal lubricant of preference. Seriously, it doesn't sound like much but everybody should know about this excellent product. I certainly prefer it to the dusty bottles of years' old splat lurking in Virgil's bedside drawer.

But I could see that he wasn't going to be persuaded so I dropped the issue for being unworthy of fighting over.

Then last week to my considerable surprise Virgil suggested the joint purchase of a Lelo Ina. He thinks it's pronounced Eena; I say (vag)Ina. I doubt that Virgil actually regretted his miserly behaviour over the lube. My best guess is that he wants to reserve for himself the privileges of joint ownership.

With two motors and two bits that stick out, Ina is designed for simultaneous clit and cunt stimulation. We inspect her together, turning her over in our hands. T says Ina is male but I disagree. I don't care what they say at Maplins, just because something is shaped like a phallus doesn't make it a boy.

Ina has something of the smiling cetacean about her. She could be a space age submarine pleasure craft. Everything about her is curvy and sleek, ergonomic. Her handle is smooth and shiny, the business end(s) a velvety matt silicone. Seen from a certain angle she could be a flying cock and balls. Importantly, she doesn't buzz: she purrs.

Pity the antiquated Rampant Rabbit; about as sexy as one of these. Rabbits make me think of novelty candy dispensers that are pale imitations of the machines you get outside sweetshops, plastic jelly barrels with a two-pronged twig stuck on the side and lots of balls rolling around inside like a cement mixer.

With Ina you have the following options:
- clit only stimulation
- cunt only stimulation
- clit and cunt stimulation - alternating pulses
- clit and cunt stimulation - continuous
- clit and cunt stimulation - in waves, or circles... or something

We roadtested her yesterday. Virgil made me go through all the different modes, describing them to him while he licked and kissed around my pussy. He wouldn't believe that I was doing it properly and kept grabbing Ina to check that I hadn't skipped a function. Finally he pushed her into place - bulbous head inside me and the smaller head over my clit. It only took a few minutes before I had had in fairly quick succession three or four really good orgasms.

I am delighted to say that the dual stimulation was amazing. This had been the main selling point for us and Ina did not disappoint. The last time I came I actually had to hold on to her with both hands because it felt as though my pussy would suck her right into me.

Virgil's away tonight for work. I'm off to bed with Ina.

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