Saturday, 4 August 2012

An engagement (not mine)

Predictably, things have taken a turn for the better. Well they had to.

A housesit falls into my lap. It begins tomorrow, making tonight probably the last I will spend in the chaotic warehouse of dogs and Luz. After the housesit Virgil and I will be on holiday and, after that, there will be a new house. I hope Luz and I will part on reasonably good terms. Sometimes it's good to hold one's tongue a little bit.

After a day or two Virgil and I get over our meltdown. I struggle with conflicting feelings of love, anger and pain but love keeps winning. I think about how relationships change over time.

Two friends of ours get engaged. We find out, individually, through Facebook. They met a year or so ago. She asked him. 

'If only she'd let him ask,' says Virgil, only half joking, 'it wouldn't have been so feminist. Why couldn't she have waited until that day when women are supposed to do it. When is that?'

'It's February 29,' I say grimly. 'Every four years. Anyway, they haven't known each other for very long. It's the perfect time to get engaged. It hasn't got complicated for them yet.'

I have a theory that if you don't get engaged early enough in a relationship you are much less likely to do so. I think of Virgil and me in our salad days of dizzying, blissful love before we we discovered each other's limits. Virgil definitely had those kinds of thoughts in the early days although he wouldn't be explicit. 

I remember we were sitting on the top deck of a bus. He said, 'I've got lots of plans for you, you know?' And then something about me being allowed to keep my name but our children taking his. I was mute with happiness. I didn't imagine it. 

No comments:

Post a Comment