Monday, 7 May 2012

Other people's rules

The date with Alan goes well. So far so good! He seems intelligent, a good spirit, happy and easygoing. If I had met him in a vanilla context I don't think I would have guessed at his sexual nonconformism. I wonder how many other people slip beneath my radar. Alan fields a volley of semi-serious questions from me. I learned this bad habit from Virgil who has a talent for making people feel quizzed and laughed at simultaneously. He answers well and asks a few of his own. I am overtaken by an urge to confess and admit to peccadilloes one really shouldn't give up on a first date (such as having an awful temper and the shoddiest thing in my internet dating history). We have an awkward kiss at the end of it (I nearly fall over my bike) but the chemistry is there.

A few days later I write to see if he's free next week and get a message back asking would I like to sleep over at his place. I'm grateful because it means not having to host but I'm also surprised: Alan and I played together at a play party recently but we've only been on one actual date.

I'm not weirded out but I feel slightly paranoid. Am I strange? I need to know someone pretty well to want to sleep in their bed. It just hasn't come up for ages. Virgil and I don't have sleepovers with other people. This is my rule (I'll be honest: most of our rules are my rules). Virgil would like to be able to but the idea doesn't sit well with me. I'm a sentimental idiot and I adore sleeping with him. We usually fall asleep spooning and cuddle each other awake. The idea of waking up with someone else feels strange and the idea of Virgil cuddling someone else awake is uncomfortable. I remember that everyone has different arrangements. I may as well be upfront about mine.

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