Saturday, 21 May 2011

Another Ex

An ex-shag wrote to me. I found the email by chance when I logged in to a mostly retired account.

"How's things stranger? [I last saw Adrian about 4 years ago so fair enough]. I was wandering through AFF and stumbled across your profile..." 


I never met anyone as addicted to AFF as Adrian. He worked from home and was online the whole time. He was a veteran when I met him and had much of interest to say about how the experience went for single men.

Adrian was my first ever internet fuck. It was one of the coldest sexual experiences of my life, memorable only for its awkwardness and brevity. It was the sexual equivalent of bumping into someone, both turning apologetically and with faces averted and colliding with each other again. The real shame was that it was the first time I had had sex with a man for years and I had been rather looking forward to it in a virginity re-lost sort of way.

I wondered why Adrian was so obsessed with meeting and having sex with women when he was so cold and transactional in his approach to sex. He hinted that he had serious health problems and was irascible and needy. Our brief acquaintance didn't last. Actually I haven't even logged on to AFF for several years. It's a disturbing thought that my profile is still turning up in searches. If I can remember my password I will go and retire it - give it a decent burial.


"I was wondering if you would mind if we could have an informal chat sometime, if you can. It's totally selfish but..."

Wouldn't this set anyone's alarm bells ringing? Informal? Why - might lawyers be involved?


"I'm in the middle of a bit of a personal crisis, and as AFF is so small sometimes, there's a strong chance you might have the answer that would help, or at least have some enlightening thoughts."

I wonder whether Adrian has lost his heart or his money to an internet scam of the "I'm a naive Russian girl coming to London and will be needing a boyfriend when I get there" variety. Maybe he's being stalked by someone he half-heartedly fucked and lost interest in. Maybe he's the stalker. I decide that - curiosity aside - I'm not going to find out.

I mention it to T, who says: "What did I tell you about guys never throwing away the phone numbers of ex's?"

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