Virgil turned me off self-help books with the sniffy remark that self-help book readers simply read self-help books rather than change things. I went off meekly and (with the exception of one anger management book) did not revisit self-help until he broke up with me a few weeks ago, at which point I realised I had to make my own choices based on what works for me and not Virgil. (We're now back together - just - but living apart. It feels fragile and uncertain to say the least. We've barely talked about next steps.)
I don't want to make a crutch out of it but other people's wisdom is a resource that we should not be too proud or cynical to receive. Sometimes, though, I hit a nugget I simply cannot swallow: who said that deep down we're afraid not of failure but of how powerful we are?*
Oh. Really? If only! Yep, that's it. I'm not afraid of not being good enough: I'm actually just scared of being too good, too successful! Specious nonsense... I think about how much money there is to be made in telling people what they want to hear.
*A quickie internet search reveals the culprit to be Marianne Williamson, purveyor of miracles, in A Return to Love.

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